Sirens Party

First of all - many apologies for my behavior last night. I'm sure I offended plenty. In my defense, when you step foot in my (OUR) house you play by my (OUR) rules. Anyway, let's get to the story. So the female acapella group, the Sirens (affiliated with my alma mater GW - check them out), hosted a party at our place last night because their initial venue fell through. That's all good in my book - they took care of business and held up their end of the deal (thank you Taylor). I had a hell of a time and my night went pretty much the way I envisioned it. However, when you have a party at your house that is not technically being hosted by you, shit is bound to happen. First of all, when I'm smoking my weed in my house I don't need people I don't know holding their hand out. Can I hit that? No, you don't know me. This is my chronic, I tend to smoke the finest, and my good friend I buy it from doesn't put his ass on the line so some clown can smoke his product. Go home and smoke your dirt weed then come back to my house and party. That's all I ask, and if you are a true smoker this should be falling on deaf ears ("Despise dudes who wanna get high but never buy" - Meth). Second, I know it's weird to walk into a house party and see some hyperkinetic freak walking around with his shirt off in stunner shades and a bucket hat, with a glass of suspiciously green liquid (JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE baby, they sell it around the corner now, I'm supposed to stop but I can't!). But before you pass judgment and start some shit you don't want to finish, ask yourself what you would be doing if the party was in your house. Probably having a lot more fun because you wouldn't give a fuck what other people are doing. Don't care if you're wifed-up with some girl in the Sirens and because they are technically hosting you think you have the right to tell me what's what. Nah, not in our house. This is our shit here and we do things our way. And I've been listening to DMX way too much lately, so now is not a good time to test us. So chill with the small talk. I understand you are still in college and that's what we do when we're in expensive day care. But those days are behind me, and WE are on some grown men shit. Just because your girl wants on my team doesn't mean you can run off at the mouth. I'm gonna be getting drunk and lifted on Saturday nights for life. If I'm in the type of mood where I want to hurt whoever tries to touch mine, I might decide to drink energy in the form of a green malt liquor. If I'm at home, I might decide to take my shirt off. Especially if a bunch of kids are running around my house. I'm trying to lay down the law in my own home. Jealous? Good. Stay that way homeboy, you'll get nowhere fast. Just don't bring that shit around my home. Third, I don't know who the two love-struck fools were messing around in Arndt's room, but don't ever try to fuck in a stranger's bed. That will get you killed. Especially by large German men who have gun fetishes and live in a city that finally decided to follow what the Constitution says and give us the option to arm ourselves. No, Arndt is not packing, but what if he was? And he was a little too drunk. And in a bad mood. Decisions like that lead to either abortion or at the best, some bad, drunken sex. Get the picture? Get the girl's number and punch your ticket to slam city next weekend. Who knows, she might even be worth dealing with. Last, I'm not even gonna get started on why or how baby powder is all over the second floor bathroom. Whoever did it, you know you fucked up. Try that shit next time when I'm not hammered and running all over the house, because you will be cleaning it up. Perhaps with a few of your teeth in the mix. Thoughts? Am I being too harsh?