How I Went From Being A Loner, To A Social Man, Then Back To A Loner
In the days of my youth I was what most consider a loner. I was shy and reserved and didn't have many friends. I was and still am white and my best friend was and still is black. In 7th grade he moved to a different school district so we didn't have as much time to hang out, but we still did stuff on the weekends. We learned a lot from each other about the differences between white and black America and why things are the way they are. I guess that is why we had and still have such a special relationship. Not to mention we share the same two surnames. I don't know why, but it only dawned on us recently that generations ago my family may have owned some of his. Still, there is no love lost. In retrospect, sharing my life with him (no homo) was the best and only way of me saying, "Hey, white people aren't so bad. Except for the ones who are. Which is a lot in this country. Fuck it, let's listen to 2Pac."
Anyway, I had a few other friends and we still remain good friends despite the effects of space and time. We mostly kept to ourselves and never really wanted to integrate ourselves with the "cool kids." In high school, we had little interest in going to parties or chasing girls. Instead, we made ridiculous home videos of us pulling pranks on unsuspecting victims, reenacting the show "Cops," and causing general disarray in our relatively boring suburban town. It made sense to us at the time. We were pretty much dorks. I didn't even go to my high school prom, opting instead to attend my step-sister's wedding. It was probably one of the best choices I have ever made.
After a year at a boarding school, I broke out of my shell a little and became a much more social individual in college. I became incredibly confident in myself and found it easy to make friends from all sorts of backgrounds with interests often different from my own. I rediscovered my love for art and senior year found a circle of friends interested in pretty much the same things I was into: art, music, sports, and partying. We were all decent to exceptional students and partied like champions (too much so in retrospect), especially towards graduation. But as graduation approached, I began to realize something: I was beginning to stretch myself out so much socially that it was becoming difficult to build the strong, close friendships I was used to when I was younger. I had established plenty of friendships over my four years in school, but few of them were particularly intimate. I was in unfamiliar territory and it felt suffocating to have so many social obligations. I missed the old days when friends were fewer and so were my social complications.
The point I'm trying to make is that humans are social creatures, but it comes with a consequence, especially since the inception of Facebook and Twitter. There is little face-to-face intimacy/interaction between people anymore. We "know" more than enough people and have more than enough friends, both the Facebook type and the real type. Although I am on Facebook and occasionally indulge in needlessly posting my thoughts and activities, I am beginning to see this as a caustic trend. It just reaffirms my belief that most people, especially our age, are being dumbed down by TV, excessive drinking, and working for "The Man." And that's why I have cut ties with these three things (though I still watch "60 Minutes" and sports games) and reinvented myself into a state of existential, blissful hermitage.
Anyway, I had a few other friends and we still remain good friends despite the effects of space and time. We mostly kept to ourselves and never really wanted to integrate ourselves with the "cool kids." In high school, we had little interest in going to parties or chasing girls. Instead, we made ridiculous home videos of us pulling pranks on unsuspecting victims, reenacting the show "Cops," and causing general disarray in our relatively boring suburban town. It made sense to us at the time. We were pretty much dorks. I didn't even go to my high school prom, opting instead to attend my step-sister's wedding. It was probably one of the best choices I have ever made.
After a year at a boarding school, I broke out of my shell a little and became a much more social individual in college. I became incredibly confident in myself and found it easy to make friends from all sorts of backgrounds with interests often different from my own. I rediscovered my love for art and senior year found a circle of friends interested in pretty much the same things I was into: art, music, sports, and partying. We were all decent to exceptional students and partied like champions (too much so in retrospect), especially towards graduation. But as graduation approached, I began to realize something: I was beginning to stretch myself out so much socially that it was becoming difficult to build the strong, close friendships I was used to when I was younger. I had established plenty of friendships over my four years in school, but few of them were particularly intimate. I was in unfamiliar territory and it felt suffocating to have so many social obligations. I missed the old days when friends were fewer and so were my social complications.
The point I'm trying to make is that humans are social creatures, but it comes with a consequence, especially since the inception of Facebook and Twitter. There is little face-to-face intimacy/interaction between people anymore. We "know" more than enough people and have more than enough friends, both the Facebook type and the real type. Although I am on Facebook and occasionally indulge in needlessly posting my thoughts and activities, I am beginning to see this as a caustic trend. It just reaffirms my belief that most people, especially our age, are being dumbed down by TV, excessive drinking, and working for "The Man." And that's why I have cut ties with these three things (though I still watch "60 Minutes" and sports games) and reinvented myself into a state of existential, blissful hermitage.
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