Goofus Magee

Goofus Magee - that was the nickname given to me
I live under a train trestle in Cascade City
And all the passersby whisper about me in pity
Little do they know that I'm as happy as can be.

It wasn't long ago that I amassed a great fortune
I was a Hollywood actor with many awards
I had acres of land and a mansion few could afford
And a beautiful wife who provided her own portion.

I was living it up, waking every morning with a smile
My fans adored me and my friends fitted me with a crown
The critics extolled me, I was the talk of the town
Everything seemed perfect, well at least for while.

I spent 8 years rubbing elbows with the Hollywood crowd
We had exquisite parties and lavish vacations
All our musician friends were in MTV's video rotation
I was a household name and it made me proud.

Then one day I thought about my life in the fast lane
I began to feel uneasy about being on the big screen
It was kind of bizarre that this was "living the dream"
With each passing day it was becoming more empty and vain.

After reflecting for a while I made a wild decision
I cussed out the Academy when I won my next Oscar
Then fought the old guy who keeps playing that Italian boxer
And that was my ticket out of my Hollywood prison.

I burnt down my house and the media put up a fuss
And I emptied my bank account and put the money in a briefcase
Then I bought a disguise so I would be hard to trace
That night I left Hollywood on a Greyhound bus.

When I got to Cascade City I jumped and I cheered
No more flashing lights and red carpet events
A life of plasticity is what my freedom prevents
I'm a jolly bum with a briefcase full of money for beer!