The Kangaroo Who Jumped Backwards

A long time ago
There was a kangaroo who jumped backwards
"But I thought kangaroos couldn't jump backwards?!" -
You're probably asking yourself
Well one of them can
And after this poem
You'll be his biggest fan.

His name was Stetson
And his favorite show was The Jetsons
He was obsessed with one character
But I forget who it was
Though I assume it was Orbitty
Because he had springs for legs
And Stetson could relate to that.

The kangaroo who jumped backwards
Did not live in a zoo
He lived in Roo Projects
With the liveliest crew
They were known throughout Marsoop City
As the grimiest of the gritty
They were the only kangaroo MCs on the scene
Real heat-makers
The rest were wallabies
And the wallabies were haters.

When on the mic
Stetson was not to be fucked with
Not only could he jump backwards
He could rap backwards mad swift
This talent was the source
Of the wallabies' disgust
While Stetson's albums went quipple-quapple-quitruple platinum
Theirs collected dust.

One day Stetson got bored with rapping
The industry was tired
And the wallabies were wack
Their skills left much to be desired
So one Saturday afternoon
Stetson and his crew declared, "We're retired!"
The frontin' ass wallabies breathed a sigh of relief
And all the little B-roos and B-rooettes
Were overwhelmed with grief.

I never saw Stetson or his crew after they quit
Some say they moved to Thugz Mansion
A sky high, iced out paradise in the sky
Others say they moved to Atlanta
And tried to revamp snap music
With D4L and Dem Franchize Boys
But I doubt that
Because one time Stetson told me,
"I hate the guys who made 'Laffy Taffy'
And the ones who made 'Lean Wit It, Rock Wit It'"
"Yeah..." I said,
And Stetson replied,
"So I had one of my shooters go to Atlanta
And blow them up with a scud missile."
After that I slept really well
And still do to this day.