The Thoughts Of A Former Heroin Dealer Who Is Now A U.S. Soldier Patrolling An Opium Poppy Field In Afghanistan

Holy shit, man. This is a big ass field of opium poppies. It's like this country is just one gigantic poppy farm. Why the fuck do they have me walking around this field anyway, like this damn field needs to be protected from some Taliban motherfuckers. I thought those dudes were the ones who banned the cultivation of this shit in the first place. Why don't we just burn all these fields down and focus on getting rid of the jihadist bastards hiding all over in the mountains?Man, these farmers must have made a ton of money off this shit. And half the dudes in my platoon are fuckin' heroin addicts now. It seems like the whole damn military is stoned all the time. No wonder it took so long to get Osama's ass. I can't believe it's illegal to sell heroin back home when they got a bunch of us patrolling all these poppy fields like a damn drug cartel. This shit makes no sense. And since we started this fuckin' war the production rate has gone through the roof. We must not be doing a very good job stopping this drug trade. Unless...wait a minute. Oh, shit. The government must not be trying to stop this shit at all. They must be making a shit ton of drug money off this whole 'Global War on Terror' thing. Well, I'll be damned. Man, fuck all this. I need to talk to one of these local warlords about this shit. I wonder if the Taliban knows what's really going on? Hell, they must be in on this too. I need to capitalize off of this shit. I need a piece of the pie. I'm cutting in on the government on this bullshit arrangement. They got my ass marching back and forth through a damn poppy field on a meager salary when I could be rolling in dough. I bet if I talk to one of these farmers I can get a nice little supply route going back home. I mean, I still have plenty of connects from back in the day. With no middleman, I can make a small fortune in weeks and get the fuck outta the army. Alright, lemme tell Gennifick to cover my ass for a minute while I go talk business with this durka durka farmer dude over here. They're gonna bury me under the jail if I get caught for this shit.