JM (C.R.E.A.M.)

There was this kid I met one time in a magical college town where everything seemed perfect. He was Irish and loved telling stories and making jokes. He loved making jokes so much that sometimes he couldn't begin a joke without laughing. But despite his inability to tell jokes without cracking himself up, he was really good at making lots of money. Until one day he went to college in the middle of nowhere and joined a fraternity. And he spent most of his time getting drunk and fighting with the frat next door because they did too many illicit drugs. He did this so much that the cops began to get used to it and except it as normal behavior. But then one day his fraternity ended and he got a high-paying, but stressful job in the middle of nowhere. And he had all this money but nothing to say for it. So he began dreaming of cooking "toasted-chee" sandwiches again.